Dazed and Confused!!!


Bluebonnet Links


Gardenblog Update


Photos from May 27, 2003

These photos are better than my May 23 pictures (I figured out to use the high-res setting on my digital camera)

I think is a Brandywine tomato that is just barely starting to twinge from green to red and orange

Here my very cool and rare Texas Purplebonnet (see my pictures from May 23)

This and the next shot were both taken from the vantage point of what my herb/strawberry/flower bed would like if you were a mouse. (Look in the background of this shot for the deep purple color of the Sage that is blossoming)

(I got the little Peace flag for my garden from the Mennonites.)

Here’s a picture of a butterfly that is sitting on a grape leaf in the garden. (the grapevine has grown in that part of the yard along with a rosebush for probably 15-20 years. I think we planted them when my family first moved to Newcastle.)

Here’s my wildflower bed again. The only thing blooming right now are the bluebonnets but there all kind of other plants that will soon be blooming.


Photos from May 23, 2003

Looking through the gate

Here (and in the next shot) you can see the paths I’m making with some old shingles

Looking through the gate

I didn’t know that potatoes had such pretty flowers on the plant but they do.

Rose Moss, Potato, and Tomato plants all fending for their space in a more crowded part of the garden.

Lots and lots of Spinach greens

Heirloom tomatoes fast approaching maturity

Here’s my lettuce (My mom gave me the the little farmer pig who is working in the lettuce patch)

My herb, strawberry and flower bed

Here are some beautiful Texas Bluebonnets growing in my wildflower bed. Seeing them grow in my garden is sheer bliss. Click here to download a hi-res version of this picture

Here is a shot of one solitary Purplebonnet. My guess is that it must have been a cross between the Bluebonnets and the “Alamo Red” bluebonnets that Wildseed Farms used to sell (I got my bluebonnet seed from them) — I think the purplebonnet is kinda pretty really but I bet its genes will be diluted back to blue in the next generation.

And more bluebonnet pictures!


What I’ve been up to lately…

    Sorry for my lack of posts of late, but I just haven’t felt in the mood to blog. I have been writing though. I’m about 20 pages (double-spaced that is) into what I hope will be a book. It is a different book than I intended to write this summer (I’ll still return to my first idea later on though, of a harmonistic commetary of the Gospels).

    The current book in progress I suppose is a manifesto of sorts, a revoluntionary statement, a wandering procession of a confused person’s mind. It is really something that is still evolving. Maybe it would be easier to just post what I have for preface right now…


      This book is my attempt to regain my sanity. Over the last few years… no really my whole life, I have been trying to figure out what is truth, what is real, what is genuine. At times I smugly rested on what others told me was truth but in more recent years I’ve been questioning everything, to the extent that I feel lost. So many of the things I thought were absolutely solid truth seem so fluid now. Everything seems so vague… especially matters of faith.

      The reality is that I am unsatisfied. I can numb this longing in a lot of different ways, but in the end when I can’t sleep at night, and my whole life seems to worthless and pathetic, I must return to the old questions.

      This book is way of trying to articulate what seems real. I am still very confused but I hope maybe by putting these feelings and thoughts into solid words, that maybe I can find my way out of this abyss of emptiness and into a life of meaning. I hope in some way that my reader might find comfort and guidance in my twisted wanderings as well because I believe my dissatisfaction is not a unique experience.

    I haven’t decided yet what direction this book will go. So far I’ve talked about what it means to discover one’s true identity, the critical imperitive of self-identity and that identity’s significance in the community, the fact that love is meaningless unless it is specifc (generic bland “universal” love means nothing if it isn’t specifc and unique to the one who is the object of the love)… I hope to move on to talk about the power of friendship, the power of autonomy, the difference between being interconnected as contrasted to being dependent on a sick and twisted societal system, and most of all I want to talk about God, about how it seems God works and doesn’t work, and how God gives humankind dignity and worth.

    Anyway, that’s where my writing is focused on right now. I’ll probably still blog some but it won’t be my primary writing outlet.

    Also, I do want to say that life is good. I go through phases of euphoria and depression but all in all things are good. I am in love which in general is both a misreable and joyful state of being. (but even in the misrey I like being in love more than not being in love — if nothing else it makes me feel more alive)

    Beyond writing and being in love, I work a lot and I daydream about summer traveling. Cornerstone will be good (assuming if I can figure out a way to get there) and the planned weekend Oklahoma roadtrips should be a blast.

    Well that’s enough to say for now. I’ve typed out plenty of verbal diareha for now as my friend K would say. She’s probably right but sometimes it feels good to just say what’s on the brain even if it makes no sense.

    Hasta que la próxima vez yo escriba


The Matrix. . . Reloaded

    I finally saw it tonight and am still realing from the experience. It is so very unlike what I had expected. It one giant mind trip that I frankly will still not completely understand even after I watch it five more times. I’ll write a more cohesive review later, but for now I can’t It is still too fresh and I feel like mind is on fire, with sparks sizzling out of my ears and my eyes ablaze with scenes of kung fu fighting taking place on top of an 18-wheeler’s trailer that is going down a crowded freeway at 80 mph. This movie is better than drugs. It is philosophy, theology, the whole enchilada. It is beauty. It is horror. It is love. It is organic chemistry. It is electricity. It is man versus machine. It machine versus man. It is machine versus machine versus spirit versus man versus prophecy versus intellect versus hope versus every possible paradigm imaginable by man. It is like feeling the earth being shaken out from under you in a manner so horrific yet so amazing it is beyond my ability to convey. It is. . . (to be continued)

    One more thing… Morpheus. He is a prime example of a true man of faith. I totally dig him, even more so than Neo. Neo seems to almost stumble into his divinity, to be pretty clueless half the time. Morpheus though. . .. he is the real oracle. He is the real prophet.


Pictures with my digital camera

    I went ahead and splurged today (but one that I’ve been planning for months) on a new digital camera. Amazingly it is a 2.1 megapixel and only cost $137! (I remember not long ago when a camera with that much resolution would have been $300 or more).

    So, here are my first pictures from the new camera… (click on the picture to view a larger version of it)

    These pictures were taken of a field behind all of the sprawl on the Noble Parkway in Norman (right behind the Borders bookstore). I call it my “Prayer Field” because I’ve had lots of good times of praying while walking around there. It is such a pretty oasis of tranquility and nature in the midst of the big-box stores and asphault parking lots. It probably doesn’t look like much to those passing by, but I think it is a treasure. There’s a little pond on one side of it, several old trees (which I bet were planted by early settlers), and lots and lots of native grasses and wildflowers. I counted tonight at least 6 different kinds of flowers, but the most showy display was by the bright red visual explosive power of the Indian Paintbrush (shown in the first picture). There’s also lots of animals, bugs, skunks (I only know of their presence by the sad sight of one dead that I saw tonight), and lots and lots of birds.

    I hope and pray they don’t kill the field. It would be crime if they did.

    Maybe they will keep it, but if they don’t the field will always be there in these pictures and as ghost on the landscape, waiting the day when mankind no longer destroys beauty so mindlessly.


Light in a dark world

    Streets.org – a ministry to men involved in prostitution

    Reading about this ministry is such a beautiful thing. So few Christians follow Jesus’s example of ministry to the outcasts (even the prostitutes) so literally. If only we all did this.