First Blog post at my new webhost
- DNS probably hasn’t found it yet, but very soon JMBzine.com will be at its new home hosted at VagrantHosting.com (a business ran by some old friends who also run the madness that is Vagrantcafe).
On another note, I am considering bigger changes on this blog in the way of content to coincide with my move to the new interface.
Mostly I see the need for this change because I have been way too depressed lately (not due to any circumstances… generally my life is actually pretty good, but rather just an unexplainable feeling of apathy and doom that feels like my soul is being crushed to death except I don’t care anymore)
The question for me is that I’m not sure if blogging helps me or hurts me in those times.
I’ve talked to a couple of friends indirectly about how writing this blog might affect my emotional state. One friend said that she thought the concept of blogging was suspect and in most cases was driven by ego (but didn’t really address my own reasons for blogging, just the idea of blogging in the abstract).
Another friend said that my negative/hateful political postings is what is problematic and that my personality is not the same in those posts as it is in real life.
I’m not sure if either of them are right completely, but I’m not sure.
I don’t see blogging as especially egotistical in my case just because I think every person out there is interesting IF they shared the interesting minutia of life with the world. (Or to quote the Rogers & Hammerstein musical Oklahoma. . .
- I don’t say I’m no better than anybody else, But I’ll be damned if I ain’t jist as good!
But I also can see that my particular blog at times is very egotistical, particularly when I start talking about politics. It is so easy to get consumed with what I think is right that I forgot that others also have very strong opinions too, and that even if I believe with all of my heart that my view is right, I have to accept the fact that I could be wrong and could learn to see things differently.
And most of all, I feel like that the blog sometimes is an avenue for rage and hatred towards those who I think do evil things. Certainly it is good and even right to be moved passionately against evil in this world, but somehow, someway I gotta keep that passion from turning into hatred towards people. I should pity those who are blinded into doing the wrong things because I have the same ailment. I do evil awful things sometimes. I hurt other people. I hurt myself. I hurt God. Why do I think I have the right to hate the President, Ashcroft or anyone else, if I can’t even manage to do the little things in my life right? I am such hypocrite to hate others when I know my own self and I know how far I am from the standard I hold others to.
So anyway, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’m leaning towards making a commitment to minimizing my involvement in causes that tend to get more negative in nature (including blog posts of a negative nature) and to focus on those causes that have a clear positive way to work for good. — If any of y’all have any thoughts on this, I would appreciate hearing what you think. I’m especially interested in hearing what fellow activists do to keep their anger from eating them alive, or how you keep working for good in a messed up world without becoming morbidly depressed.