My last final was today. Bankruptcy went ok I think. It’s hard to tell. I felt very good on about 5 of the 7 essay questions (the ones that were on the Bankruptcy code itself) but then felt so-so on two of them (the questions that focused on state law collection priorities). I guess we’ll see but I’m crossing my fingers that I got enough points on the ones I did know well to do good grade-wise.

BTW— on a side note the bankruptcy outline that I posted (a short 3 page condensed version) has several errors in it. I’ll fix them later over the break but in the meantime I wouldn’t mess with it. Sorry to post it in its flawed state but I didn’t know until last night about a couple of facets of some points. (the biggie is on the length of time for chapter 13 discharges to repeat themselves. Read the code section on that one. I had that all wrong)

But good or bad it is over and boy am I glad. — In the midst of the good feelings I did get some sucky news today. Two of my friends are transferring to OU law in the spring. I’m very happy for them (and a bit jealous 😉 but am bummed out too. That couple was such an encouragement to me over the last few semesters… I think mostly because I always got the vibe that they really liked me as a person for who I am. I needed that badly because I don’t feel like I fit in to well at OCU Law. I try not to act like it but I really feel very alone there and out of place. I’ll miss them but I do wish them the best.

And who knows, maybe the good Lord will smile on my transfer application to OU for next year. I don’t think OU is much different than OCU in its program but I do know they are much cheaper and have more of a focus on Oklahoma law. OCU unfortunately is because more and more a school for rich out-of-state folks. Us poor to middle class Okies are finding it hard to afford to attend that joint.

I’m probably feeling all too negative right now. Law school finals in the end are a giant let-down. You spend so much energy, so much time preparing and in the end it all ends with a flash of terror and frantic writing and sometimes inner peace, and then you turn in your bluebooks and walk out of the room. You might chat with a few folks and then you walk away on those sidewalks you’ve walked down a few hundred times. You feel like you should feel different, that you should feel changed but you don’t.

But you are changed. Your mind has been stuffed and crammed to the brim with all kinds of stuff. Your brain has been permanently changed, your heart has been either inspired or corrupted. One way or another you’re change forever by the whole experience…

And yet you can’t feel it. At least last year my finals ended with fury at incompetent cruel professors who screw with our heads even to the very end. There was a reason to walk down the sidewalk… to HATE THEIR EVIL GUTS.

But this time there’s no hatred. All of my profs were excellent and knew their stuff. None were jerks or mentally disturbed. There was no reason to hate them…. it’s weird that way but it’s almost like I wanted to hate somebody, I wanted to feel something, anything, to make this experience have some meaning other than it is over. But there is nothing… I walk down the sidewalk and drive away. Another semester is over.