I want to be hopeful

I’m in Paducah, KY right now (at a little bakery/coffee shop) and am about to plunge into some client work before hitting the road back home to Oklahoma.

But for now, I do feel the need to say something about the momentous, history-making win of of Barrack Obama in the Demo primary.

I want very badly to be hopeful. Obama has a way of speaking, which does exude hope and does call us to something better. I want to believe him and I want to believe in America, that our nation can do the right thing. And I’m encouraged on so many fronts, that he is willing to speak out in favor of diplomacy with the enemies, and that he has a history of working on behalf of the poor and oppressed.

But I don’t feel so hopeful. The ****ing war is not relenting and nobody seems to care. I have clients that are in prison right now for refusing to go fight in the war, and other clients who likely will end up there. And I hear the stories, stories that would break your heart, that will rip our every last bit of joy and happiness, hearing how American troops are now killing children right and left like it is nothing, that the lives of Iraqi civilians are worth nothing in the eyes of our military and that the lives of our own young men and women are not worth much more.

Our nation is in such a state of moral bankruptcy, and I’m not talking about sexual mores. I’m talking about life and death. I’m talking about the fact that we are all living our lives with blissful ignorance of the HELL that is Iraq. HELL HELL HELL

Let’s quit lying to ourselves. Our nation’s machinery of death hates the people of Iraq, and the machine hates the troops. Our young men and women and the people of Iraq are all being thrown into an abyss of death, a blood sacrifice to appease some kind of blood lust that makes no sense, and that is simply. Children today are having their head blown off. Women, men, old people are all being shot, today, and we are doing nothing about it, and are worse paying our taxes to pay for the bullets.

I wish I could ignore this. I would be happier if I could, but I can’t. I can’t be hopeful. If Obama is really our savior, then why isn’t he doing more to end the war. He was a US Senator and from what I can tell he did very little to stop the machine. Why should I believe that his getting elected will matter? And if it does matter, then how can we live with ourselves knowing that we are killing people in the meantime for nothing?! How can we do this?

How?

How?

Right now I’m prone to say curses on the supposed “land of the free” (in the style of Rev. Jeremiah Wright), but instead I’ll say a prayer.

I pray that God would wake us up and make us see the cost being paid. I pray that we would wake up in the middle of the night, shook to the core with the absolute terror and horror of what is happening. I pray that we as a nation would hear the gunfire, that we would smell the smell of death, that we see the blood of the innocent.

I pray that we would be brought to our knees with horror of it all and that we would truly repent of the great evil we are all participating in. We keep buying crap and living our meaningless materialistic lives like there is not a war going on, but I pray that God would wake us up and give us “eyes to see and ears to hear” the truth of the evil we are all doing.

And then if we had that realization, I would be hopeful because then wear couldn’t live with our selves if we didn’t do everything it took to end the war. No planes would leave the airports with troops bound to the war zone because people would be filling the runways and not letting the planes take off. Bombs couldn’t be dropped because the bombmakers would walk off the job. And the war would end because there would be no money to pay for it, since no one would pay their taxes until the war was over.

That’s my prayer and my hope. Obama will not be able to “save” America until we wake up and hear our conscience scream at us to show mercy to those who are dying right now in our names.

Can you smell the gunpowder? Can you see the blood running down the street?  Do you see the blood left on the pavement where a child once was? Let us have eyes to see, God. Amen.

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