Reality sets in.

    That last post really is sinking in. I am by nature more depressed than I ought to be (and I am resolving to not let the sorry state of the world get me down in this new year — one of my resololutions for 2003), but it is hard not to be down about that news.

    I think part of it is, that as long as the thoughts and fears that the US was using torture weren’t confirmed, then it was quite real yet. I did fear that that kind of thing was happening, but I didn’t realize how bad it was.

    It looks now that the so-called good treatment of the enemy POW’s at Guantanamo Bay was just a big dog and pony show for the press, and the real prisoners were never brought there but instead likely faced torture in Afghanistan, or in a foreign country after being transfered there by our own forces.

    The reality of this is so horrible. It almost reminds me of how I felt when they discovered the OKC bomber (Timothy McVeigh) was a fellow American. It would have been almost easier if it had been a foreign national, but one of our own?! Now though to hear that Americans are the instruments of such evil is just to horrible to think about.

    Violence is horrible enough when it is deemed neccesary to defend oneself or someone else, but when it is used intentionally to bring pain upon another human being… it seems so wrong. To refer back to Tolkien and LOTR, it seems so Orcish.

    I believe with all of my heart that human beings are made in the image of God and are called to something more noble than this. — actually this segues into something I heard late last night on ABC’s Up Close where Ted Koppel interviewed Arch-Bishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. The part of the interview I saw was so joyful. It was simply put a downright spiritual experience for myself to watch BUT to get back to point … what Tutu said that related to this post was when he said human beings are made in the image of God, so that means we are all called to be “God-like.”

    That is why I am so upset about this, why I rage against this horrible evil. And the truth is, the real enemy is not Bush, Rumsfeld, or even the CIA. The real enemy is the evil that clouds our humanity and keeps us from being who we all are called to be. We are meant to be better than this.

    Part of what upsets me most, is that if I go down deep enough in my own soul, I know there is some of that same evil inside of me.

    If it were my family members or loved ones held in the balance, would I say torture was ok? Would I even be willing to inflict the pain myself? If I am completely honest with myself, the answer would probably be yes, and that is why I say there is evil in side of me, because the rules change when “my own” would be at stake. I wish I could say no, but that is because I am not the man God has called me to be in so many ways. We all are so ready to bend the rules and to do what is wrong. It is a terrible thing.